Monday, November 15
just woke up. a bit bleary eyed. and all those dreams.. argh i want to just stop all my dreams. stop my stupid mind from thinking about these things. don't want them now. dreams are only fun when you can afford to dream them. i'm poor.. don't rob me, dream-giver. don't tempt me.. i might give more than i can afford.. i might give them my soul. i know what you want to hear.. but is this how you want to hear it? and actually.. you know what i want to hear. i don't need to hear it, i've been existing pretty fine without it so far. and most wants are bad for us. but i kinda want to hear it.. only.. i don't know how i'd want to hear it, really. oh damnit i do know. and i also know that i'll never hear it. they will steal your heart away, draw the blood from your veins, turn your head from the truth, until you don't know what you're doing anymore. i'm scared to give so much to dreams. only, at night.. how do you force your brain to think rationally? it just doesn't happen. i see your face through the thin mist.. are you smiling? i can't tell.. i'm starting to forget it.. maybe it's better this way.
it must've been love.
8:47 pm
xoxo
